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10/5/2020 – CONSUMED

Hello Warrior Woman,

At the beginning of our journey together, I promised that I would be transparent and vulnerable. Throughout my earlier years of life, these were two characters that I did not possess. I always needed to be in control and kept my guard up. From the age of 11-18 years old, my biological father sexually abused me. This experience caused me to shut myself off from those close to me and others who tried to get close. Because I had carried that burden for 20 years of my life, it was not until 2012 that I learned transparency because I no longer had to lie to people about how I felt when asked a simple question: “how are you?” At the time, my father was still alive, but what catapulted my turning point where three separate heart-pouring conversations I had with my three Heavenly Queens. My Mom, my Gran, and my Aunt. Collectively, they all told me to start living for myself. Stop living my life for others and learn to forgive.

Most importantly, to seek God so that He can lead me to love and show me how to love and forgive myself. Every interaction, in person or over the phone with each of them, lasted for hours. They all helped me transition from such a dark place in my life. Even in death, I am forever grateful to have had them show and teach me how to be a woman of Godly character. Fast-forward to the present day when I want to sit and talk for a while or pick up the phone and call to hear their voices so they could speak more wisdom into my life and pray with me. It has been a heavy burden at times because I no longer am afforded the opportunity. The other day I was so consumed with everything and fell into a deep depression for three days. I closed my blinds, which I always keep open, cried for what seemed like hours, prayed, slept, and other times just laid there. I couldn’t work, write, read, talk because I was so heavy and overwhelmed with all that has been going on around me and in my life. I mentally needed a break to turn everything off.

Additionally, last year, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, a painful disorder from uterine tissues growing outside of my uterine wall. My Obstetrician said she does not recommend another surgery soon after the one I recently had in November 2019. In the same year, I was also diagnosed with lumbosacral disk herniation, which causes my spinal disc to pinch my nerves, creating extreme pain. The pain is constant regardless if I am standing, sitting, or lying down, and I will need epidural steroid injections 2-3 times a year. Yeah, so I was going through all this pain on top of a mental breakdown. I choose not to medicate myself as I am a recovering prescription drug abuser. Therefore, I have to work through the pain while diligently seeking more natural and holistic approaches to eliminate the problems.

Many of you may ask why I chose to be so transparent and vulnerable in telling my story. For many years, the consumption with my silence about most of the things in my life excelled me into darkness and did not progress me to become better. Most importantly, if I can continue to overcome by my testimony, and one person can finally face what they are silent about in their lives. Then, I am humbled to give God the glory to use me to help someone make it through. I always give God the praise for allowing me to be a vessel to impact change. We are all created to help one another navigate through this life. It is my daily hope and prayer always to be a blessing to someone. When you know what darkness feels like, on the edge of many suicide ideations, alcoholism, promiscuity, abuse in the many faces it can hide. Then you know it is a place you want to save someone else from experiencing. So when you make it to the survivor’s side, there is an obligation to reach back and pull others through to find their resilience, tenacity, and peace.

In closing, for those who are wondering, I learned to love my father before his death. But, I hated the demon that laid dormant in him. In my soon to be completed memoir, “She Speaks,” I tell of the many challenges that came to impede my paths, but that never seemed to take me off of my God divined journey. So, no matter what may be consuming you, there is love, life, and light on the other side of it. Go forth, knowing that you do not have to find it alone—reach out, then reach back.

Educational Links:

https://www.spine-health.com/conditions/herniated-disc/lumbar-herniated-disc

https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/endometriosis

Always be blessed and highly favored,

Alvina

“It is never about the seeds you plant, but more importantly, the ones that you help cultivate compassionately.”

9/29/2020 – TIME TO MOVE FORWARD

Hello Warrior Women,

We all had encountered a time when we needed to move forward from a situation. There were many occasions where signs and a discerning in your spirit was nudging you to move. In my experience, I stayed in situationships because I was complacent with that person’s place not being empty in my life. Even if the situations we’re unfulfilling. My purpose is to not fit in or to be understood; God created me to be obscure so that He will get the Glory. I grew up in a big family. I have always been around people all the time. I had not known how to fill the capacity of my own spaces. Because naturally, I just wanted to share it. This year has provided me with a greater perspective, “to mask up and distance myself” from people. For too long, I have placed the needs of others before mine.
Can I share with you my fascination with horticultural when it comes to plants and flowers? Horticulturists have taught me the importance of knowing when to plant and in what season. It is essential to know when to water, how much, the proper time to prune and free them from any weeds that stagnant their growth. Powerful! Ecclesiastes 3-1 (Click link) provides us with a detailed spiritual insight because there is a time for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3
TIME IS OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, USE IT WITH WISDOM.

Over the past ten years, I have incorporated this knowledge into my life. Although not as consistent as I should have been. Every year I have made it a priority to check the inventory of my life. You see, I am continually evaluating my current place. Are the people in my life, adding to my growth or merely placeholders? Growing is uncomfortable, but there is a strengthening embodied with an irreplaceable boldness. Often we commit to putting ourselves before others; many of us hesitate not to be deemed arrogant or self-absorbed. I have reached a place in my life where the validity of my life’s view from the perspective of others does absolutely nothing to move me forward. My confidence has been deserved and highly earned from the many journeys I trailblazed to come out unscathed. Therefore, I move differently; I walk differently; my attitude is different; my vernacular is different, and I associate myself differently because I am different. I have recognized that people will hold on to various past versions of you that they are comfortable with, but you no longer identify with and have since transitioned. Let them hold on while you physically move forward.

Capture
NOW THAT IS A WORD!!!

In closing, I believe we, as a society, need to heal. From past hurts, abuse, self-sabotage, and the need to hoarder things, situations, and people in our lives. My purpose is to not fit in or to be understood; again, God created me to be obscure so that He will get the Glory. He has placed a boldness within me that is becoming stronger every day. Let’s be realistic for a moment and evaluate your life right now. Do you know the inventory of people who are not adding value or substance to the people who are watering your growth and soaring with you? I challenge you to be unapologetically selfish with your time and make the “choice” to live purposefully. Yes, living is a choice! There may be a time in life where you will be required to walk alone to accomplish your life’s goals, to learn who you uniquely are, and in doing these things, your perspective and values change. Then the people that God wants to bring in your life to help you grow further, teach you and stretch you into the YOU that you were divining created to be will begin to show up. “Preparation is vital to your current existence and your future potential.” However, you have to make up your mind to move forward with consistency. By doing so, it predicates your God-given destiny that only you were created on this earth to carry out. Look at it this way,” eagles only fly with other eagles.” They soar high and look down low together. Their mission is aligned with one another as they reach higher heights. Now, challenge yourself to find your eagles be free and fly.

WALKING ALONE IS OK, IT’S CALLED “GROWTH.”

Always be blessed and highly favored,

Alvina

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“It is never about the seeds you plant, but more importantly, the ones that you help cultivate compassionately.”

9/25/2020 – WHAT’S NEXT? (ORIGINALLY POSTED 9/4/2020)

Hello Warrior Woman,

Honey, the past three months have been somewhat challenging. I have been utilizing the time to learn the true meaning of “What’s Next?” With the current climate of the world and this global pandemic that has caused us to develop a new normal. There probably will never be a “resuming of normalcy post-2020.” In addition to the fantastic and monumental “Black Lives Matter” movement! In the eloquent words of our Queen Maya Angelou, If you don’t know where you’ve come from, you don’t know where you’re going.” Therefore, we are revisiting our ancestors’ past as it resonates with our present.

Why do we, as black people, have to equate to organize peaceful protests to get attention? Yet, again! But, this time, the world has stood in solidarity because we know we matter! Despite our many efforts to remain peacefully humble, they still insist on killing us! If you think we will continue to sit by idly, allowing racist, bigot, and soul-less demonic tyrants to kill us! They are genuinely mistaken! Because injustice of any form will not be accepted as it affects all human-kind. If you are not for change, you are apart of the problem! We can go back through our history and be proud of the problem-solvers who abolished slavery and whose shoulders we stand, such as Harriet Tubman (1844), Frederick Douglas (1838), Elizabeth “Bett” Freeman (1781), and Henry Highland Garnet (1824).

Throughout our history, we have been fighting until we see change, so we must continue to fight for the generations that are still to come. The battle is continuous, but along with it comes excellent character. Attitude is the most fundamental aspect of our characters. To triumph, we must have our perspectives in a position where we can focus, strategize, and execute. Too many people want to retort to violence. “Fire does not put itself out, and the only way to effect change is to plan first as individuals, then collectively as communities systematically.” There is greater strength in numbers when our goals are aligned.

The way that we create change is by voting. YES, VOTING! Once we evict Mr. Trump from office. We celebrate, thank, and praise God when President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are officially elected! But, it does not stop there because before anything can change, we have to make sure that we are attending our local district meetings. In addition to holding our state representatives accountable along with our congressional party, ensuring that the Legislative (draft proposed laws), Executive (enforces and carries laws out), and Judiciary (interprets the laws meaning) Branches effectively implement their duties too.

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In closing, in regards to these matters, they are personal for me because, in 2008, my cousin was viciously murdered by cops, not police officers, unarmed while riding a bicycle. I want us to take a contextual look at both of those words cops vs. police officers. Cops are corrupt officials posing as saints. In contrast, Police Officers honor their commitment and badge of honor to protect and serve their communities. I believe there are some good police officers out here. You understand a journey when you have walked along the path. The death of my cousin was a painful and challenging time for my family and me, but God was our foundation and strong tower. And being someone passionate about grassroots organizing; it is the sure way for justice to being served by creating our legislation and standing stern until execution. As taxpayers, we employ them to work for us. So let’s put these politicians and government officials to work for us!

Always be blessed and highly favored,

Alvina

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-14.png

“It is never about the seeds you plant, but more importantly, the ones that you help cultivate compassionately.”

5/5/2020- 5/10/2020 A CELEBRATION FOR MY MOMMY, VALERIE

Hello Warrior Woman,

Today, let us celebrate with our Mexican families and honor their legacy of triumph. Cinco de Mayo is a commemoration of the Mexican Army’s victory over the French Empire during their Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War, on May 5, 1862. Although many of us celebrated the opportunity to have an adult beverage, we must become knowledgeable and have a clear understanding of the history, pain, and loss of what many had to endure for freedom. Yes, we should celebrate, but I hope that we get to learn the meaning behind the many holidays that we celebrate. For they all have a profound meaning-if, you will.

Three years ago, today, at 11:16 PST (2:16 pm EST), my Mom received her heavenly wings. She suffered a cerebrovascular accident that caused an intracranial bleed. I vividly remember every detail. We landed at the airport, arrived at the hospital, and walked through the the hallways. It felt like forever. Then, the moment I saw her in lying in that bed with tubes and machines connected everywhere, I screamed inside! She was laying there unrecognizable, not looking like the strong Warrior Woman who raised me. Instantaneously, I said, “No, Father God, she shall live and not die! I then decided to have the attitude of activated faith. My little sister and I prayed and worshiped together on the plane, despite the many obstacles that tried to alter our faith and patience. My older sister and brother took turns, never leaving our Mom’s side, and when we arrived, they were able to go home for a few hours. 

We all decide to set the room up just like our Mom would have wanted it. We put some flameless candles up, spirit filled decorations, Mother’s Day trinkets, played some of her gospel favorites, and prayed collectively as one family, the way she had taught us to do for years. Our goal was to create an atmosphere that would usher the Holy Spirit of the Lord in. We were praying with tongues in the spirit, covering her with the blood of Jesus Christ. Miraculously, for three days, she started to show minimal signs of activity as we sang, talked, laughed, and loved on her. On the night of the fourth night of her being in the hospital, God came to me in a dream and said He said three days! We all gathered, and I told them what God revealed to me, I said we need to fast and pray for three days. For the next three days, we did just that, we stayed in alignment with one another all, but you know the enemy gets busy. But he was defeated because we used our spiritual weapons of warfare. We were doing this for our Mom, and no devil in hell was going to stop us! 

Then, on the third day, on my way to the hospital to relieve my oldest sister. God began working on me while I was driving, I was listening to The Call, by Isabel Davis. I screamed, cried, called out, sung, and by the time I made it to the parking lot, I saw the clouds opening more and the sun shining brighter. He was revealing to me that is was time for Him to bring Mom my home and was showing me how He was setting it up. He said it had been seven days, and it was complete. The confirmation came when my pastor texted me and said to call her when I was in the room with my Mom because she wanted to pray with us. She read John 5:8-9: Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once, the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. The day on which this took place was a Sabbath.

Warrior Woman, this was a very emotional story to tell, and I cried every moment writing because I had to relive it over again. However, as the Bible says, we overcome by our testimonies. Therefore, to close it out, my Mom received her wings on a day of celebration for freedom, and most importantly, God healed her on this side so that she can live again on the other side. He sent His Word and made her whole again! We have to learn to live every day like it is a celebration because it is a blessing to have another chance to do it better the next time. My Mom had six children, 14 grandchildren, husband, three brothers, three sisters, and many countless friends who lives she touched over the years celebrating her life on this side but her victory on the other side! 

Mommy, today I honor your legacy and memory-even through tears and pain from the loss of my first love. You will always be the greatest blessing God gave me! My 36 years with you felt like a lifetime, and I will forever cherish our memories until I see you again…and I will! 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, QUEEN!!!

Always be blessed and highly favored,

Alvina

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